Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Snot rockets, Indian yoga, and fog!!

Ahoj everyone
You won't recognise us when we come home - we will be the pair in town who most resemble ghosts! That's right - no sun tan over here! We have actually had the sun shine through only twice since Pod Smrken! I asked the guy in the bikeshop whether this crazy fog is normal, and he said it is not fog, but the 'inversion layer' and that it would be gone in 15 days (that was on Nov 1st so we still have a bit more of it to come). It seems that people here (the few I can communicate with so may actually be a gross generalisation!) are very definite about the weather patterns. There is no "you never know with the weather" - and strangely enough, they appear to be dead on with their predictions (although not sure that is the right word since they talk with such certainty)! Man it makes a difference to how you feel when the sun comes through though - the other day I was walking back from the gym and I just stopped and closed my eyes and put my head back so my face was in the sun - it felt so good! I probably looked crazy but most likely the only person that would have seen me was the homeless man who tries to talk to me every day, but everyday I tell him I can't speak Czech (Shesky - as they call it). It doesn't seem to stop him trying to speak to me!
That brings me to my next point.... the men in the park are not friendly to me at all. When I say 'Dobry den', they almost look annoyed to see me and none of them say anything - unless of course they are young - ie up to 45 I would say... Well last Thursday I was having a great ride in the park - at least until there was 5mins left to go. Then it all turned to custard in a big way... The first issue was that my rear derailleur for no apparent reason crapped out (sorry Mum but there is no other way to term it!). I could no longer bike at all, so after trying to fix it and realising that something was pretty wrong and it needed to go into the shop, I simply sat on the seat and drifted slowly down the hill. As I was doing this a man, probably in his 50's, was walking the opposite way past me. I let out a cheery 'dobry den' (it is almost a challenge to see who will speak to me!), and he scowled at me and quickly pulled out a tissue and forcefully blew his nose on it and then took a large step towards me and threw it at me!!! I was in shock.... This is the most disgusting behaviour that I have ever seen, and I don't imagine many 5 year olds would do something so filthy. I was silent for a bit while I continued to process what had just happened, then all of a sudden the angry little person inside of me was unleashed! I was even surprised at the volume and range of expletives that were coming from my mouth (lucky you weren't there Mum!).
The disastrous end to my ride didn't finish there - I was so wild, that when I got to the stairs (that I had to carry my bike up since I couldn't ride up the hill), I was still so perturbed with what had just happened that I picked up my bike with way too much effort and the bloody thing somehow whacked me straight in the upper lip! Once I had checked I still had all my teeth, I was less concerned, but on returning home my lip had swollen to the size of half a golf ball! A bit of ice and slowly down it went, but man what a bad end to what had been an awesome day on the bike!
That night when Jase and I were talking about why this strange altercation had occurred, Jase proposed that it was probably something to do with the chauvinism (spelling?) that still seems to be rife over here (in the 50+ age bracket). This seems plausable to me given that no men in this age group will say dobry den or smile or even move out of my way when I am biking, but the old ladies are so stoked when I say dobry den to them and they most often respond with a smile! Who knows!
On Saturday we were invited to one of Jase's workmates place for lunch. They were really nice people and very hospitable. The food was delicious, and there was a constant stream of it from 1-6pm!! More food than Xmas! In the end I had to pull out the red card on more food - I was about to burst!! People here have a huge lunch. It is very common to go out for lunch during the working week for traditional Czech cuisine of dumplings, pork, and vegetables - all smothered in huge amounts of gravy - not exactly gluten free! Monica and Raf had researched 'gluten free' and had a feast prepared that was mammoth! When Monica met us she said she was shocked at our size, as she thought all NZers were very fat! Turns out she got that idea from a singer who came here who she thought was a kiwi - she told us to google the song he sings - "somewhere over the rainbow"... so we did - do the same and you will have a laugh! He is in fact Hawaian, not a kiwi! Maybe she thought she would be feeding people like him!!!
On Sunday Jase went for a mtb in the park, while I went to the gym (as my bike was at the shop) - I was gutted to be indoors as the sun was out! Then in the afternoon we took the tram into Prague and had a cruise around the city. That night we went to "Fabian's" for tea. Last time I was there I ordered steak - medium to well done.... next time I will ask for well done to burnt!! It was mooing as I was swallowing it!! This time I opted for mushroom risotto - delicious! Jase left the dinner feeling a bit tipsy - something was lost in the translation when we handed our plates and glasses to the waitor when he came to collect them... Jase said "that was really nice thankyou" - next minute the waitor darted off and returned with another 0.5L of beer for Jase!!!
For the last 2 Tuesdays I have headed into Prague for my "Traditional Indian Yoga" class. It is quite hilarious in parts, but after the first session I did feel very relaxed and slept really well for a good 3 or 4 nights afterwards. The instructor is a tiny Indian man - way smaller than me! He comes around the class (4 of us the first time, and 3 the 2nd time as it is in English) and pushes us further into the positions - he has only just grasped that I am a bit stiffer than the others in the hamstrings so my shrieking as he moves me has finally gotten through! The start of the class resembles what can only be described as an 80's aerobics class done at high speed! Apparently this is to wake our bodies up. Then 1hr of yoga poses, followed by 30mins of breathing exercises and humming Ohhhhhmmm - I am decidedly out of tune when we do this and run out of air about 5 seconds before he does - so find myself letting out a staggered m....mmmm......mmmm at the end! I hope the others can't hear me, but then again who cares - at least I am trying!! You never know - I might be a better singer after this!! yeah I know - the guy can't perform miracles!
Jase is in France at the moment. He left on Monday, and is back on Weds afternoon. I was like a stuck record before he left..."are you sure you've got your passport?"!!! I really don't like driving on the motorways over here. The quieter roads are fine.
Well not too much more to report. I will be home next Friday so will catch up with some of you sometime after that... Please order some sun!! Jase will be back on Dec 7th.
Narskaladano (goodbye)
George

1 comment:

  1. This sunday during bike ride my friend was telling me how he met that racer from new zealand in local bike shop and how he had to interpret and translate because guys there dont speak english well. And today i was checking results of this weekend cyclocross/mtb race and was wondering who is the one who won women mtb race. And after reading your blog i guess you are the one my friend was talking about. I found it pretty funny.

    Anyway, I dont think "chauvinism" is the reason why ppl dont greet you back. During our rides we often meet ppl of different age and gender who dont greet back or even worse. But also we met tons of ppl old and young, women and men who answered our greeting with smile on their face. So you were just unlucky so far. You will see, not everone here is grumpy.

    Hope to meet you in Sarka so we can show you some more bike tracks or show you some more outside Sarka (woods on the other side of Vltava, behind prague zoo are pretty cool also etc)

    And keep blogging, its nice to read.

    ReplyDelete